WELCOME TO OUR WEBSITE - JOIN US ON A JOURNEY!

Join us on a journey with Roaches Coaches, your local bus company that definitely needs your support.

A message from owner Keith Roache

Hello!  Thanks for visiting the Roaches Coaches website!  

 

We’re your local, family-run bus company, and we aim to provide you with a cheap and cheerful service to get you from A to B.  We’ve been around for a long time - just like our buses - but we’re a good bunch.

The good people at FADS (Fintry Amateur Dramatic Society) approached us and asked if they could make a fly-on-the-wall podcast about our company so we said yes.  All publicity is good publicity, right?

So, sit back in your seat, relax, plug your earphones in and enjoy a few episodes of Roaches Coaches. Click here to listen.

How to use our buses

A helpful guide by Senior Driver, Jimmy Galbraith

 

Right.  Well, before you decide to take a trip on my bus, make sure you’re no reekin.  I’ve to sit on that bus all day so the last thing I want is to get the boak.  Some folk are just bowfin’.

 

Make sure you have the right money.  I’m sick of bein asked for change for a £20 note for a £1.85 bus fare.

 

When you see the bus comin, stick yer hand oot in plenty time.  If I don’t see you I might no stop.  This is a good time to get your money oot as well.  I’m on a tight schedule you know, I cannae wait for ages while you scrape aboot in yer purse lookin for 5p.  The bakers shuts at 1.

 

Sit yer erse doon as quick as you can.  When they doors shut, I’m aff.  And when you want aff, ring the bell and get oot yer seat.  I’m no a mind reader.

 

That’s it.  Keith told me to say I’m looking forward to you joinin us on a journey.  But I’m no.

 

Jimmy

Lost Property

Driver Mags Neilson explains how we deal with lost property.

 

Hello boys!  And girls.  Keith asked me to write a bit about lost property because we get a lot of enquiries about that.  

 

At the end of each night when we take the buses back to the depot the drivers do a full search to make sure nobody has left anything behind.  

 

Stuff we find is taken to the big locked cupboard behind Keith’s office and it stays there until we get a call about it.  It’s like an Aladdin’s cave in there.  

 

Here’s a list:

  • CD: Scotland’s greatest tribute acts including Will I Amny, the Burro-Claimers and Kirkaldy-waddy

  • 14 umbrellas

  • A copy of 50 Shades of Grey with lots of bits highlighted (by me, before I put it in the cupboard)

  • A set of pliers

  • 4 mobile phones, none with any credit left

  • An empty Vitalite tub

  • A pair of fingerless gloves

  • 3 wallets and 5 purses, none with any money left in

  • A full colostomy bag, tied at the ends

 

If any of these things are yours, and you are a single man looking for love then get in touch with me.  

If you are a woman then phone the office instead.

 

Mags xx

Do you travel with us regularly?

If you are a regular listener to the Roaches Coaches, answer these questions and you can win a special prize:

 

  1. What is the name of Carol’s husband?

  2. What is the name of Mags’ pet cat?

  3. Who was Kenny dressed as when he escaped from the hotel?

  4. What is Jimmy's favourite food?

 

Email your answers to: roaches@fintrydrama.org.uk

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